I was resentful as I left you with my friends to go to a meeting this evening. I was enjoying myself and feeling good. There was no danger of my drinking, but the camaraderie feeling was definitely there. It felt like "old times" in a way. You were having fun, my girlfriends were getting "tight". I could feel good, deep conversations on the horizon. Yup. Old times.
When I realized that I would have to leave in a few moments if I was to get to my sponsor's house on time, I thought, "Damn. Now? I have to leave NOW?" I argued it back and forth in my head and even tried to come up with some good excuses as to why I couldn't go. Fact is though, I knew that I needed to. Somewhere, deep in my heart, I knew that if I blew off this meeting, it would be way too easy to blow off another. Accountability.
Turned out to be a good meeting after all. Saw a magazine cover with HOME on it - made me homesick and sad, but it was there for a reason. Not sure what it is yet, but maybe it was HP's way of telling me that I AM home, even here.
And, as one who can get just a bit "preachy" sometimes as I look down from my self righteous mount...it was good to see that sign along the road on the way home.
"A good sermon isn't preached, it is lived".
My girls, you were perfect today.
Jelly made, laundry done, house picked up. We even sat around the kitchen table and made up a list of family "rules" in an effort to cut down on the confusion in our daily lives. I don't know if it will work, but I want you to know (when you read this) that I am trying. I am trying with all of my heart to give you tools that you can use, that WE can use to make our family safe and strong and full of wonderful memories. Be safe. Feel peace. I love you both.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment