manufacture your misery...

"Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize on it as an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence." (Alcoholics Anonymous.p133)

So...I feel like I have been manufacturing my misery. Parents get old, they die. I feel like I want to be serene and peaceful about it all and thus demonstrate that I understand His omnipotence. But I am so SAD!!

How do you do it? How do you find peace? How do I cheerfully capitalize on THIS?

On the plus side - I am sober to help them and witness them through this part of their journey but I am 1000 miles AWAY!

And I worry that I am manufacturing my misery - like the Monty Python skit - "they ain't dead yet!"

I don't feel particularly graceful or dignified right now....

Thanks for a place to put this...